Jesuit Social Services
Understanding the Problem

Drug Use

Why Don't They See it as a Problem?

The Cycle of Change gives us some insight into the stages of change that people go through when they are using drugs and decide they want to change their drug-using behaviour.¹ Researchers, Prochaska and DiClemente developed the stages of change model to describe the process that we often go through when trying to deal with an addiction.
1. The Cycle of Change gives us some insight as to why a person is at a particular stage of drug use at any given time.
2. It is very common for someone to make many attempts over time to change their substance use once they are dependent. They will learn something from each experience.
3. If your child is at the 'pre-contemplation' stage of drug use, they will not be ready to take action to reduce or cease their use.
4. For someone to make changes, they need to see that they have a problem and want to make changes.
5. It can be more effective to focus less on the drug use and more on setting good boundaries in the house, and having good times together.

The Cycle of Change

There are five stages in their Cycle of Change:

  • Pre-contemplation stage (person doesn't see use as a problem)
  • Contemplation stage (person realises that they may have a problem)
  • Decision/Action stage (start to do something to make changes, such as try to control, reduce or cease drug use, or seek help)
  • Maintenance stage (keep the changes going over time)
  • Relapse stage (return to use and pre-contemplation or contemplation stages).


A person may move around the cycle, or go from any point, back to relapse.

It is normal for a person to have mixed feelings about their drug use, to sometimes want to keep using and to sometimes want to give up. It is very common for someone to make many attempts over time to change their substance use once they are dependent.

It is helpful to think that each time a person tries to make changes, they learn something from the experience, and they may be one step closer to sustained recovery. With each try, people may learn to stop using sooner, or to stop before their use gets quite so problematic.

If your child is at the 'pre-contemplation' stage of drug use, they will not be ready to take action to reduce or cease their use. They will first have to start to consider that there may be a problem with what they are doing now.

Why they don't think they have a problem

Some people don't see that they have a problem with alcohol/ drug use, even though other people see that they do. They might, on the whole, be happy using drugs. This may be for the following reasons:

  • They may think there are more good things about using drugs than bad things.
  • They may be just doing what they feel like at the time, and not thinking too much beyond that.
  • They might be so focussed on the good feelings/things about using that they don't really notice the negative things.
  • They may not want to see the negative effects of their drug use and may not want to be reminded of them.
  • They may be substance-affected to the point that they are not able to think or see things clearly.


It is incredibly distressing and frustrating for parents who care so much about their child, to see the problems the drug use is creating, and the potential for serious harms or even death. It is even more frustrating to be unable to make the child see the problems caused by their drug-use behaviour.

Can you help them see they have a problem?

Physical dependence

It can be hard for someone else to convince the person using drugs that they have a problem, or that their use is causing problems for other people. A person will find it hard to think they have a problem, for example, if they see their drug as the only thing that makes them feel good. If a young person is dealing with hurtful or difficult issues, they may find that the drug use offers an "escape".

For someone to make changes, they need to see that they have a problem and want to make changes. After all, it is going to have to be him or her that puts in the substantial effort and commitment to make real changes.

If you have a positive relationship with your child, it can help to explore the good and not so good things about their use with them. Let them come up with their own ideas. You can ask questions, but your judgements at this point are not helpful.

It doesn't mean they have to agree with you that they have a problem, or do what you say about it. A young person may resist seeing their drug use as a problem or following parents advice to stop using drugs, if they are trying to be independent from parents and make their own decisions.

It can be more effective to focus less on the drug use and more on setting good boundaries in the house, such as no violence, helping around the house, or being polite. Continue to take opportunities for positive interactions and to notice the positive things about them when you are able to.

1. Prochaska, J.O. & DiClemente, C.C. (1982) Transtheoretical therapy: Toward a more integrative model of change. Pscychotherapy: theory, research and practice, 19: 276-288.
More About Drug Use
Tell Me About Drugs
Why Do Young People
Use Drugs?
Why Does My Child Use Drugs?
Why Don't They See it
as a Problem?
Other Drug Related Behaviours
What Else Can I Do?
Alcohol and Other Drug
Services for Families
Related Help Sheets
Adolescent Development
Setting Boundaries
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